


A Worthy Epilogue

by Meatball42



Category: Cracked: After Hours
Genre: Diners, Gen, Psychological Horror, Reunions, Ten Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8674168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42
Summary: The gang meets up ten years later. Some things have changed, but some things haven’t.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChokolatteJedi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/gifts).



> Written as a Yuletide treat. I hadn’t watched these videos in ages, so thanks for inspiring me to hit the ~~books~~ screen again! This is also as close to RPF as I'll ever get, but it was fun! I think I might get sort of why people like RPF now.
> 
> *edit* I have now been thoroughly sucked in and I watched all of the videos. Extra thanks xD
> 
> This story assumes you’ve seen the Matrix episode, the Epilogue episode, and the Living in a TV Show episode.

_10 years later_

“Woowww! This place looks just like it used to!” Katie says, looking around the diner and nodding to Dan and Michael. She tilts her head and squints. “Actually, why does it look just like it used to? Like, not any more run down, or… updated decor…” She inspects the table more closely. “I feel like that stain was there the last time we were here.”

“Oh yeah, that was me,” Michael says, grinning. “From the teriyaki special thing. Remember, that day we talked about _Space Jam_ and how it’s one of the few live-action-animated combo movies to stand the test of time?”

“I thought we decided it was a fascist analogue for xenophobia and imperialism,” Dan says. He frowns at his cutlery and rubs the spoon on his shirt.

“Very funny, recalling your losing argument and trying to reframe it as the truth.” Katie shakes her head at him. “You know I am willing to bet you still have those spreadsheets somewhere, and that they would prove me right.”

Dan glances down at his briefcase stuffed with ten-year-old file folders nervously. “What, we don’t need to go that far, I’m sure we all remember what was said about _Space Jam_ ten years ago, right?”

“I remember the teriyaki was really good,” Michael says thoughtfully, staring up into the middle distance. “I wonder if they still serve it.” He flags down the waitress.

“And I remember that Soren derailed us into a discussion about _Who Framed Roger Rabbit?_ and whether the Looney Toons is an alternate future.”

“Well regardless of who among us was right and who was wrong, and who has been brainwashed by American capitalist propaganda into selective blindness about colonialism and corruption-” Katie scoffs, but Dan forges on, “I’m sure we’ve all learned a lot of very valuable lessons and watched some great movies in the decade since.”

“She says they never served teriyaki here,” Michael says as the waitress walks away. “That’s so weird, don’t you guys remember teriyaki?”

Katie ignores him. “I got into stand-up for a few years, and now I’m co-writing a dystopian webcomic focusing on a psychic who predicted a world-ending disaster but was ignored. Also, I got married.”

“I- got, married, too.” Dan says, already frowning.

‘ _No you didn’t,_ ’ Katie mouths, shaking her head.

“Well, I almost did.”

“I was in a band!” Michael announces. “We sort of drifted apart. It was very Bon Jovi.”

Katie and Dan stare at him.

“We don’t do music, here,” Katie says. Dan sighs heavily, staring into his milkshake.

“Okay, well, after that, I got more into my gaming life, and now I consult on the scripts for free roam games.”

“That’s fantastic,” Katie enthuses and Dan gives two thumbs up. “What games have you worked on?”

“You wouldn’t know them, they’re in Japanese.”

Dan blinks. “You speak Japanese?”

“Duh, I’ve always spoken Japanese,” Michael says, giving the others a ‘how did you not know that’ look.

“But I thought-”

“What about you, Dan?” Michael continues. “Did you ever write that, what was it, cerebral-sci-fi-buddy-comedy mashup novel?”

Dan squirms a little. “Sort of. I made it into a webseries instead. Came out kind of, I don’t know. Meta.”

“Meta is ‘kind of’ our thing,” Katie points out. “Send me the link, I want to watch it.”

“Wait a minute,” Michael waves away Katie taking out her tablet. She puts it on the table glumly. “You guys know where Soren is? I feel like he should be here for this.”

Katie and Dan stare at him.

“Michael…” Katie says quietly. “Soren died two years ago. You didn’t hear?”

“Whaaat?” Michael’s eyes widen in shock. “What happened? Why didn’t I know?”

“There was a fire at his place in D.C.,” Katie explains. “And you don’t pay attention to politics. He said once he became a senator he never heard from you again.”

“That’s so crazy,” Michael says, holding his forehead with both hands. “A fire? Like an accident? Or was it-” His jaw drops. “Was it a high-powered organization taking out someone they knew would bring positive change to the world?”

“The investigation said natural causes.”

Dan snorts.

Michael and Katie stare at him.

Dan gestures with his spoon. “Guys, I feel like we’ve already discussed the likelihood that one of us would get taken out by a shadowy secret organization one day. We just know too much. Soren probably got too close to figuring it out, and someday soon, a time-delayed envelope, or some secret hidden transmission will show up at one of our houses and it’ll be our job to re-form the team, find out what happened to him, hunt down the people responsible for his death, and bring justice to the world!”

“Avengers, assemble!” Michael shouts, raising one fist.

“You ruined it,” Dan says.

“Excuse you, it’s not a joke,” Katie insists. “Our friend is dead. We should be having some sort of memorial service, not coming up with crazy conspiracy theories about how all the strings in our world are really being pulled by people with power who we don’t know about who like to run over good people who would try to stop them. Okay, nevermind, I see it,” she says as the others nod enthusiastically. “Yeah he probably would appreciate this.”

“If we’re doing tribute conspiracy theories,” Michael says, “maybe Soren was an alien, or some sort of meta-human, and what actually happened was that he had sex so fast he caught fire.”

Dan and Katie stare at him.

“Or,” Katie continues, “maybe we’re all living in the Matrix, and Soren was a rogue program that had to be extinguished.” The others look at her. “Hey, it’s a good go-to. And Soren liked it, or he did before you ruined it.”

“I _explained_ it!”

“You freaked out Michael! All he wanted was to live in his little fantasy that our world is real and our decisions matter, and you had to go ruin it.”

“If we were living in a fantasy world, you wouldn’t want to be one of the people plugged in, would you?” Dan questions. “You’d want to know the horrible truth beyond the edges of reality.”

“Would you, really?” Michael asks ironically, offering his palm. “Take your red pill, Mr. Brain Tumor.”

Dan sighs, but takes the pill.

He lays down on his bed and watches the medication nurse walk away. The walls of the diner close in until they resemble the walls of the ward, blank and painted a gentle blue. He breathes in, trying to recall the taste of waffles and wings, but all he can smell is industrial laundry detergent and latex gloves.

Dan rolls on his side and picks up the snowglobe he keeps by his bed, giving it a shake and watching the Los Feliz Cafe as snowflakes flutter down.


End file.
